Conflict isn't a sign that a relationship is unhealthy. How you cope with that conflict can be.
We enter into toxic relationships not because we're bad people but because our first relationships were also toxic and we saw them as 'normal.' We seek the familiar dynamics we were raised in, subconsciously, until we wake up and start to consciously choose.
The best way to cope with highly critical parents isn't to endlessly try to please them. This will only lead to resentment and pain. It's to understand they have a conflicted relationship with themselves, and to start making choices in your own best interest.
Children who grew up in dysfunctional, chaotic, or emotionally neglectful environments become adults who seek love, validation, or approval from people not capable of giving it.
A core sign of developmental trauma is a desire to make partners ‘prove’ their love to you because you don’t believe it’s possible for them to love you.
Love goes wrong when we subconsciously look for a partner to give us all the things our parent couldn’t.
Many adult relationship issues are unresolved childhood issues. Find a partner willing to be vulnerable and open to resolving their past.
Our parents teach us how to love through: how they love themselves, how they love us, and how they love people close to them. We learn to love through what we witness beginning at birth.